man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!