It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Male: Get in the van.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!