Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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why are you you touching me ????

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!