Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Gaywatch starts

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Welcome to DIE!

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!