- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book