did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!