Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

cockface

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Lesbihonest

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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