Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Sugar-free sugar cookies

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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