Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +197

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +374

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!