Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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I have no gag reflex.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Golf.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!