is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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adam burdass

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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