Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

whats up ho

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

Anti-Pickup Line

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