Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!