Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!