- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book