Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Have you met Ted?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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I have a gun.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!