I've got candy.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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