Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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-I love you.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Jdkfk

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Gaywatch starts

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!