You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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who wants to play EPAR

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free candy....

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!