my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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