Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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