- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Boy : Gurle: hi

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book