Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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