- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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why are you you touching me ????

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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