- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book