- Anti-Pickup Line

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people cape flowing in the air moon in background Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! Connection discontinued Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol leaves Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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