Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

hey Herpes Go Away!

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!