-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!