- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Walking to your car alone later?

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

jack sanders

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

So when' the baby due?

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

whats up ho

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book