roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!