The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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I'll eat your poop

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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