roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hey you look like a good practice girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I take the the out of psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +53

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

thumb_up thumb_down -55

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -169

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

thumb_up thumb_down +70

I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!