- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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hey bitch

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!