- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book