That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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You smell just like my mom...

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!