Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!