I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Golf.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!