-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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