- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Are your prices by the hour

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book