Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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sex me.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!