Wanna have sex?

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Welcome to DIE!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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you look like my mother

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!