He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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