- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book