Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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you look like my mother

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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