-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

How much do you like peanut butter?

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!