Male: Get in the van.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!