Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Sugar-free sugar cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +40

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!