Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!