you look like my mother

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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I'll eat your poop

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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I think I shit myself

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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