- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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haha

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!