can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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will you marry me

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!