It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!