Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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I'll eat your poop

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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- You look really nice - I know

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!