- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

I have a really big..... Bank Account

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

This doesn't have to be a rape.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Welcome to DIE!

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book