SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Soon

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Stop Footing Around

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!