You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!