- Anti-Pickup Line

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

your boobs are bigger than my nose

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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