He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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are you on fire?

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!