i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

greetings clarisse...

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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