your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +30

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

imgonna r@pe you

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

thumb_up thumb_down -20

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -107

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Do you want to see something swell?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

thumb_up thumb_down +133

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!