Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!