are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!