Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Lesbihonest

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!