M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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haha

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!