Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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free candy....

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!