GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

thumb_up thumb_down +159

-Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +600

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Five dollar women... WOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -108

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

thumb_up thumb_down -80

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -152

all in all it was a good orgy

thumb_up thumb_down +188

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!