Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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adam burdass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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