him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Lesbihonest

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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- You look really nice - I know

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!