why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

You allergic to semen?

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

"Next!"

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

"You'll do."

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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