J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Soon

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Stop Footing Around

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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free candy....

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!