greetings clarisse...

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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sound of zipper

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Wanna have sex?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!