Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

thumb_up thumb_down

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!