He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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free candy....

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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