Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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nice kid... want another?

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Sex?

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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my dick is 2 inches

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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all in all it was a good orgy

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!