hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!