Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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