- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Soon

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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