Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!