Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Get in the van.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!