He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!