- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Golf.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Soon

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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-I love you.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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