He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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you look like my mother

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!