You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

I think I shit myself

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Put the lotion on the skin!

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!