- Anti-Pickup Line

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! nana nanananana nana Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY¨¨ Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

Hey, you want a ride?

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Man: Hello! Mishimush! This is a Mister Borat eh? I would like to make the sexy time with you now woman... Eh can I make the rape on you? I will not make much crushings on you if you do not bite okay? Girl: WOW! SURE! Man: Sigh... I... (takes of wig and mustachio) I am actually Sasha Baron Cohen and this is just a hidden camera scene for my movie an.. Girl: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU YOU UGLY BASTARD! GET LOST! Man: DAMN! But its me the same guy and I think I just fell in love with you an... Girl: GET OUT YOU PERVERT! 10 minutes later: Man: Hello there oh honey, this is da berlinen wassenflass Bhruno and I would like you to help me make me the hetrosexal man for das werbungen of my movie star eh? Girl: .( Sigh... I miss that Borat guy... Man: But its me! I am Both Borat and Bruno and... Girl: YOU AGAIN?! GET LOST ASSHOLE! Man: Damn... something just went very very wrong here did it not? Borat: Hello the mister Baron eh? Mishimush! I am the making movie of Crushings of America! And this is my very Manly Man Bruno! Bruno: Hello hot stuff! Cohens! Me and Borat would like to make the very manly thing with you in a threycantzen of tree peepols! Borat: EH YES! We make bang bang in the anoos together with man man and man so no gays make us they slaves! Director: Is something wrong Mr.Cohen? Man: Uh... I think I need to see a shrink for a while after this experience...

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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