Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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You allergic to semen?

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!