That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!