- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book