Drink this!

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!