- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

You smell just like my mom...

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book