How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Lol, waifu and Rebecca are like "do you have to type so much? Come back prince charming... ...I Am all NO! AND CALL ME MASTER BISON. SO ANYWAY SHORT coMMENT SEE? I DONT HAVE TO TYPE AS MUCH! AND NOW THAT THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING BECAUSE OF MY SHEET HERE I JUST KEEP TYPING YOU KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE HANGING OVER ME AND I CANT MOVE.:: GIrls read this: (not you ladies not yet, I am talking about my gals here) IF YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU, MOVE THE FUCK OVER TO EACH OF YOUR SIDES, SO I CAN GET UP, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER SO I CAN DO YOU BOTH. Lol Rebecca is all like "He is not really posting that stuff right? "Hey Nero you are not going to post that stuff are you? Lol Harris, does your sister know me again? Ps: Dont worry folks, I mean Harris is like my bro from another ho, seriously, I bang his sister, he goes like "THERE IS A GOOD CATCH SON!" And kept giving me the thumbs ups when she liked Anal too much and could not sit. ANYWAYSSSSSSS SHORT COMMENT GET! (Sorry id type more, but I think my dick is alive again... IT MUST DROWN IN THE JUICES OF WITCHES OF ENCHANT! "I wont post this Rebecca? Lol, you know why I do not care about their opinion Rebecca lady" BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, AND THEY ARE NOOOOOOOOOOT! Oh you do not want your bro to know... Rebbeca chan... Your bro just sent me a thumbs ups and "take good care of her bro" Yeah let me put this incredibly good laptop away and show you. Ps: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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