- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

why are you you touching me ????

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book