- Anti-Pickup Line

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

EVERYONE ELSE

are you on fire?

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-hey, come here a minute.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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