man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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