Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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