Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +228

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Eat me, I'm organic!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

thumb_up thumb_down +81

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Business Y U No Advertise?

thumb_up thumb_down +68

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +214

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

thumb_up thumb_down -174

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!