- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

-Get in the Van

I'll eat your poop

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Jdkfk

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book