Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -113

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +98

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +122

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I think I shit myself

thumb_up thumb_down -10

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

thumb_up thumb_down -339

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats up ho

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!