Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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