why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!