-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!