i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Get in the van.

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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