Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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greetings clarisse...

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!