Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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