Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Gaywatch starts

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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-Do you like me? -No

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!