Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'll punch ya!

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

thumb_up thumb_down +96

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +156

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!