- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

Drink this!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Glass Basketball

Golf.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

i am with stupid l l l \/

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Are your prices by the hour

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

hey Herpes Go Away!

I think I shit myself

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book