Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Nice legs what time do they open

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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