Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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cockface

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!