hey you look like a good practice girl.

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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