-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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my dick is 2 inches

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Soon

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Stop Footing Around

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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free candy....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!