Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Stop Footing Around

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Soon

Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!