Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!