You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Drink this!

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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