Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

So, you're a girl, huh?

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Give me some sugar... honey.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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