Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!