Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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