Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Do you live around here often?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!