Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Soon

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!