- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

Boy looks at cloth -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book