Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

hey baby i just came in my pants

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

cockface

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!