Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

you look like my mother

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!