you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Im gonna rape you..

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!