- Anti-Pickup Line

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people cape flowing in the air moon in background Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Lesbihonest

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean blush really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!