- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book