Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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