Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!