Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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.............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

Glass Basketball

hey bitch

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!