Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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I have no gag reflex.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!