Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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I think I shit myself

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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are you on fire?

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!