Business Y U No Advertise?

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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-I love you.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!