Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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are you on fire?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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