i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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I think I shit myself

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Drink this!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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hey bitch

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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