As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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you look like my mother

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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