Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!