"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Sex?

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!