-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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"Don't scream"

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!