*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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