Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!