Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

thumb_up thumb_down +97

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +598

cockface

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +80

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

thumb_up thumb_down +133

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

thumb_up thumb_down +88

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

thumb_up thumb_down

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!