-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!