Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Want to go out? No

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!