-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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I'll eat your poop

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!