Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Hello children! :D

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!