My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!