I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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