Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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