How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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"You'll do."

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!