Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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are you on fire?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Drink this!

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!