you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!