Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Wanna have sex?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!