-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Lesbihonest

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Nice legs what time do they open

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!