- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

I think I shit myself

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book