Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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