Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!