Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Do you live around here often?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!