- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

are you on fire?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book