Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-Get in the Van

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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