- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

greetings clarisse...

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Male: Get in the van.

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book