-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Sex?

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Wanna have sex?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!