Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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I've got candy.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Want to go out? No

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!