Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down -96

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +131

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

thumb_up thumb_down -52

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +72

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!