-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Golf.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

I have a gun.

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

You look exactly like my sister.

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!