Stop Footing Around

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Golf.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!