your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Stop Footing Around

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!