Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!