Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!