you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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I have a gun.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Golf.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!