Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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my dick is 2 inches

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Im gonna rape you..

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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sex me.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!