Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

thumb_up thumb_down +121

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Are you from Wales, because...well...

thumb_up thumb_down -70

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

thumb_up thumb_down -28

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!