Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Im gonna rape you..

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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sex me.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!