- Anti-Pickup Line

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Male: Get in the van.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Hey girl! Faggot.

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. Plays moral man theme (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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