So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

thumb_up thumb_down +165

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down

Gaywatch starts

thumb_up thumb_down -34

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

thumb_up thumb_down -27

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

thumb_up thumb_down +58

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!