Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Gaywatch starts

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-Do you like me? -No

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!