What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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I have a gun.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Golf.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!