Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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nice kid... want another?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!