guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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I have a gun.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!