Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -132

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +86

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!