Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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my dick is 2 inches

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Im gonna rape you..

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!