Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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I have a gun.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!