Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Male: Get in the van.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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sex me.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!