Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Golf.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!