Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Get in the van.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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