Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!