-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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So when' the baby due?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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sex me.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!