Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Penis. I got it

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Are your prices by the hour

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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all in all it was a good orgy

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!