Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

haha

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Im gonna rape you..

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!