Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Get in the van.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Im gonna rape you..

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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why are you you touching me ????

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!