I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!