Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!