Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!