all in all it was a good orgy

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Are your prices by the hour

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!