- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Penis. I got it

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

-Get in the Van

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book