She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Soon

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!