-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Are your prices by the hour

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!