Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Welcome to DIE!

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Penis. I got it

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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- You look really nice - I know

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!