Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!