Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

Nice legs what time do they open

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Five dollar women... WOO!

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!