-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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