Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-Get in the Van

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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