Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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greetings clarisse...

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Penis. I got it

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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- You look really nice - I know

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Are your prices by the hour

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!