"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!