- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Still a better love story than Twilight

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book